I woke up this morning determined and cautious, counting my stars right that it would be simply a pleasant and non traumatically explosive day for me. It's my birthday!! Yipeee..Marcus was the first to sing me a birthday song. The born-in-the-zoo thing... Mingzhu was next. Meiyi's baby son was born yesterday. So that's another miraculous coincidence. A list of friends came wishing me a Happy and Blessed birthday and there were the usual couple of surprise as usual. Friends whom I never thought remembered, actually remembered. Not that I would ever blame anybody for forgetting my birthday, I don't really remember theirs either. It's time to find out theirs, or at least set in reminders in my Palm.
Nothing exceptionally irritating at work today. Nearly couldn't leave on time. My accountant was chasing me for some stupid Cash Accounting Reporting. Due to system constraints, I have to report how our Cash Flow is doing and what are the variuos element breaking that "flow". Nope, nothing much else at work. Quickly grabbed my bag and ran like the wind. It's my birthday godamnit!!!
I was very excited with what Marcus is doing today. He asked me what I wanted months back. I told him a Sandwich will do. He's always so amazing with his creative ideas and calculated planning in prepare the "Sandwich". We went off the Chen Fu Ji to eat the incredible fried rice with the not-so impressive hot plate toufu and pork ribs. He came up with the sandwich, place a candle on it and I made a wish. What's with the sandwich? I was expecting a simple ham or turkey sandwich, but instead, he spend the afternoon putting together a 9-layered. : Bread, Cheese, Ham, Sun dried tomatos, lettuce, Pork Floss, Olives, frresh strawberry, Fresh tomatos ...hehee.. I ate it all up. YUMS..! It tastes quite interesting....I could taste italian... chinese... Fruit Fresh.. preserved sourness.. they all stand out quite well.
After dinner, we took a walk around Riverside Point.. going Liang Court, bought chocolates, bought some bargain books and music scores from kino. Went down to see an open field area to see guys flying doodle plane thingie. It's a light weight remote controlled propellor plan. Lit up with neon colored wings and zooming and gliding pass in the air. He kept stressing that my birthday was "just-like-that..".. i knew he had something up his sleeves. I have no qualms with my birthday going past peacefully, going thirty but short of 1, we could all appreciate a pleasant non-exciting day.
We went back to his place after dinner. :) He bought a few things for my Birthday, there was a "Stella" Dvd by Bette Midler imported from the states. I was always looking for it ever since I saw it many years ago. It's not widely known. Thus most shops wouldn't bother to bring it in. There were a few more other gifts. A set of Aaron Speakers.. a NAD amplifier, Vincent Ng latest book for oogling, Josh Groban sing-along-cd plus book!! Gosh .. I always like Josh Groban's Music, but not everybody can sing his songs. There was "Parallels for Mac", a program used to run other OS as a virtual machine. Very useful indeed!!
I generally do not bother much with birthday, left on my own I don't thinkI would have bothered to do anything at all. My parents will cook etc. But after coming to certain age like 30, it's probably not a glad thing to remember and celebrate another life token taken away. I'd ot bee ntoo fruitful over the last 1 year and thus, not reassuring to know that I am short off 1 year to accomplish what we had set out to do in life. Birthdays are like, milestones perhaps. In a project, I was taught in PM course that we were suppose to plot in milestone in my project plan, so as to stop pause and examine a few thing. Like budget, resources, deliverables and timing etc.. We will find ouselves to be oddly out of sync with what we initially put up, a fabulous plan it was.
Life's like a big gantt chart perhaps, with many milestone and everytime we review it, we are falling short of it. There are the lucky ones, who achieves almost everything they had planned for, and when the birthday comes, it's tick they put on the check box. Tasks completed.
Perhaps the reason why I have had been letting my birthday past with not much of excitment, is the fact that I did not achieve substantial and important milestone in my life. Coming to think of it, what is there to celebrate actually? An increment in my job? A new and more exciting job? Quite shallow hor? Must think of something. Maybe by next year before my Sep birthday, I can work out a milestone that's worth celebarating the birthday to !!!
Semplice Simon
I finished watching the movie "Singapore Dreaming" directed by Dr Woo Yen Yen. The show basically depicts life's big dreams being unfulfilled in modern Singapore Living. I never did pin very high hopes on local singapore productions, but over the years' of improved productions both on the big screen and in theater, it would do justice to local directors and producers/writers, to see their works and appreciate a taste besides the hollybollywoods. And I wasn't disappointed at all.
The show started with the lady singing an oldie in Hokkien, for which I was too motified to think it would carry the signature singlish and half past english hokkien kind of language for the whole show. It did not turn out that bad. There was a good mix of Hokkien, Chinese, Good english, good singlish etc... If you can't understand Hokkien well, you might just miss a few good hearty jokes here and there.
The story is about a family living in Singapore, heavily in debts and struggling to make ends meet. When the father struck the 2 million lottery, it might seems that the sudden wealth will solve all problems they faced. It is not to be so, watch how the married sister struggles with the bitterness to having second best to her brother, and the second preferred to the parents. See how the husband she married had to fit into the big Singapore dream of making it rich, and to suppress his deepest desire to become a rock musician. By the way, I still don't undestand why the china beer lady asked him for $100 and he turned up later the next morning for the funeral. I am trying not to think that he slept with her. The father, having slogged half his life away in debts of his son's oversea studies 's school fees, had to himself helped his boss work as a credit collector. The son Ah Seng, whom the whole family had pinned their hopes on, tried to led everybody into a false hope and confidence that he actually made it. He only managed to study in a Polytechnical University? That's apparently not a big thing in singapore... according to the indian interviewer. There's also the future to be daughter in law and wife to be of Ah Seng, whose simple world revolves around taking pictures via phone of every other days' mundane events and put in her blog, and faithfully awaits and wishing hard for the day Ah Seng comes and marries her. And last by not least, I applaud the wife, who gave a stunning, refined and precise representation of the whole essence and spirit of the movie.
The bottom line of the show would be what the China lady said : "Some gave up their dreams to work hard and earn money, regardless iif t's the things they don't enjoy. Some use what talents they have and work hard now, so as to fulfill those dreams they have, in the future."
Which one are you? I can only raise my hand in surrender to note, I'm of the first kind. I never really did enjoyed doing Computing and IT. I took it in Poly and Uni simply because it allows me to make a living. My first love was music. I love to play the French horn, the flute and to do conducting. I picked up singing later but still, all these were my first love. After watching the movie, perhaps I should make a long term plan, to see whether I can return to fulfill my dreams. Without realising our visons in life, and living it to fulfill those dreams and passions, wouldn't it be that we are safe but only half real?
Simply Simple MacCookiest Simon
Guess what? I was trying to organise my picture in my iPhotos just and MacCooki crashed! Can you believe that? The pop up screen came up neatly and politely addressed the apparent horror I was feeling, telling me that something not "nice" had happened and none of my other applications were affected. It even asked me to provide Apple with details on what was happening before IT actually happened. I wasn't resenting the fact the Mac actually aborted a program prematurely, rather bitter at the realization; Nothing is ever dependable in life. Nothing is indefinitely unchangeable, null-degenerative and immutable. My dependabe little air con might break down know, my fan my start making choky noise and fail on me. My bed might break one of its leg, the window might fall off the hinges and as I am typing away, my wardrobe might just decide to collaspe on me. Nothing and I repeat, nothing is dependable. As Murphy always put it, as something is too go wrong, it will surely come to pass. This is to say of all computer gadgets and devices.
I had recently witnessed a few of my friends being caught in panic when their computers were invaded by an unknown virus or spyware. There was much hooha as expected with the usual rushing around to seek help.. From the knowledgeable Techies, the the whimisical Computer Geeks to the unorthodox Computer Bomohs... None to which, were able to solve their problems. The best solution that i could anyone? The Three Golden Rules of Computer Usage (ie. applies only the Windows and PC users).
They are :
1. Never keep important documents on the same partition/hard disk.
2. Makes sure Virus Scan is up, Windows Firewall is up, Windows/Office Update done.
3. Back up a set of your Programs/Documents externally, and know how to redo your own computer.
In fact, I make it a half yearly event to format my pc. Not just for the fun of it, but to get rid of any strange programs/spyware that might have been written in without my knowledge. There you have it. My point being, not to be too dependent on machines and gadgets. If you even need them for life, make sure you know how to survive resurrecting them.
MacCookiest Simon
I just had a panic attack yesterday. Made an appointment with my hairdresser to have her (butch friend) cut my hair in the newly opened salon at east point simei. Didn't manage to make it clear in the telephone conversation and she ended up having to wait for me at temesek towers instead. Now that's a big boo boo... given that i had even asked my other buch friend MZ to join me. She wanted to see the other butch friend of mine. ok. I'm not too sure whether it's even appropriate to use the term butch on them but they are two very good lesbo friends of mine. MZ being with me for 16 years already and the other, having to had cut my hair since 1994. From my short sec school hair cut.. to the Poly big bob pong pong hair.. to the sudden short clip, to the army shaved and finally ending up today... Anyway back to the topic.. she was later and I was waiting.. waited for 1.5 hours before she came... cut my hair and rushed off to the library to collect a book with MZ.
Marcus was having dinner with Keith.. hmm.. his long time crush. Ok.. nothing's between them but I do feel a bit uneasy whenever they meet up. I don't really mind them actually.. but the fact that it's a long time crush and he's quite cute.. makes me feel a bit .. jealous? insecure? haha i'm not too sure myself. But they are alright. Waited for the carparks here and there. finally collected my book and had to watch MZ have dinner. All the while, we were talking lesbos and their relationships, their uncertaintiies etc.. We aren't that different after all!
I was quite eager to get home. Since i needed to read a couple of books and to pick a few thing, iTuned my music play with my mac etc.. I was quite desperate. Finally MZ fini her Fuzhou Fishballs and rushed again and sent her back home finally reaching home around 930pm. Gosh.. haven't even eaten my dinner yet. Complained a bit about mum having to cook everytime I have outside appointment.. had a bit of lashing out from Dad about me being an ingrate.. and finally hitting the weights. Did 6 x 12 sets of squats and itunes at the same time... and bathed. My books!!!
Start reading around 1030.. really pissed by then.. i was feeling a bit breathless... i not have enough time to finish my stuff. I felt my skin turning cold and felt some jitters crawling up. I tried to catch my breath. To my horror .. i saw visions of the problems I am facing.. the things I am supposed to do.. all turned into life like statues and pointing fingers at me accusingly. I tried suppressing but the silent scream escaped.
Slammed my book shut grab my mac and went back to my bed room. Switched off the bedroom light and sms Marcus.. knew he might still be dwindling with Keith so decided to sleep. Still felt panicky. Marcus called.. I told him wat i was doing and the problems I was facing the whole day. As usual... he's always so patient and sweet at the right times... anyway.. I told him it was a ridiculous time to discuss matters like this pass midnight.. i just wanted to sleep.
This was a panic attack for me .. I never felt time as so strain and thin and my life line hanging thread before. It's an alarming experience. Woke up this morning and told myself.. i need to prioritise.. focus and relax. Life need not be so messy. Take it one at a time. Who's gonna ruin my life beside myself? :)
Simon MacCooki
How many things in our lives allows us to make a split second decision and convince ourselves that it's the right thing to do? Blabbering nonsense again yes? Yes! Well, I am quitting my current job now. And the reason which I gave? I'm not happy anymore. Like the many other things in life and the way I approach them nowadays, is the need for urgent let's-not-waste-another-thought-on-it kinda of decisions. Having most of the colleagues which I used to worked with quitting and having their jobs dumped on me, and plus the fact that my lady boss favours fat and charismatically woman please bald man to work for her. I don't exactly fall into her list of pampered babies. She needs to express her materal instincts desperately. As such, much work had been dumped on me because of the fact that I am capable and intelligent .. ( vomit. ) and also, I have the courage to make difference and stand up for my views.
But those reason aren't enough to keep my shoes down and my leg on the ground. I give up. Totally. When she pulled me into the room and asked me for the reason, I told her straight without the slightest tinge of hesitation. I am not happy. I can't possibly see any reason better than that to stop me from changing job. Isn't that the same with many other things we should do in life after 30? I am not happy, I am fedup, don't give me this crap i don't need this.. blah blah.
It took me another 3 months plus to push into the gear of job hunting and finally finding myself one in an established logistic firm in Changi.. near my house thank God. I am happier now, well at least until I start work. But hey, can't blame me for trying to myself happier yes? It's a simple reason.
Simple MacCookiest
