Gay Marriage-To-Be.

The topic of Gay Marriage had been humming around my head for quite sometime. I didn’t see the point in tackling this issue from my lackluster blog. Until of course, three fateful things happened. A new copy of the GayTimes Magazine – Wedding Special, my age shift from box “25-29” to “30-34” and a recent vivid discussion with Marcus coupled with QAF Season 2 Episode 11. (That’s where the lesbos got married).

How can I resist then, but to finally burrow my brains out to write a series of articles on Gay Marriages. I’ve choose the following topics to blog down. It’s going to be very personal and relative to what I understand about the general affairs of life. You are free to leave me comments; the nasty ones will automatically receive a self-destruct sequence into your monitor. Beware!!

Gays? Getting Married??
How does a gay relationship steps up the state of getting married? What does gay marriage for two gay people mean in general? I will write about why there is such need to get married. Or is there?

“I Do”’s in the Lion City
What can we, as Singaporeans, hope to achieve as gays getting married in Singapore from the year 2006 till kingdom come? What had already been done and is the battle really half fought or not started at all? It's interesting to study into what singaporean gays does to get there and say "I do."

Civil Partnership agreement
This is definitely new to me. But I will discuss about the legal recognition of same-sex relationship in the context of CPA. What possibly can come out from this? Can this be applied in our asian culture and what are the pro's and con's?

Do I wanna Dance?
Last but not least, how do I see all this things personally in my own life and how I view gay marriages for myself? This would be interesting for myself to reflect upon. I've never viewed gay marriage as a necessary step in life. But will everything change as time passes? Will it be something that I really want to do?

I will get down to it as soon as I can!!! Until then, I will be in BKK with Marcus from 31 Jan to 04 Feb. Yippppeeeeeee!!!!!!

Semplice Simon

Smile Boy, Smile!!!

The Beginning:
There’s this guy whom I take the lift with on some days. He’ll be in his running gear when we share the lift down. Something about him told me he’s gay. A gaydar works that way, and mine had never failed me thus far. After a while of communal lift taking, it didn’t take us long to know who’s gay at each level and who’s not.

The Problem:
Over the next few months, we kept meeting each other on the same lift landing. We hardly notice each other initially or acknowledge each other’s presence but as the days went, it’s only nice to be neighborly and smiling to strangers does come to me naturally. I greeted my security guard everyday, I can’t offer any treatment diminished to neighbors, can I? But here comes the irony, how do I smile and say hi together at my neighborly gay man without giving him the wrong impression that I want to bag, gag and bang him right now and there? That’s how gay men works isn’t it? Our libido is about as managed as a herd of bulls. How am I going to be friendly and not letting them think I’d premeditated to get excess attention?

The Response:
One fine day he finally looked at me and smiled. I was expecting this of course, but the most calculated response I gave was to smile faintly. It was not a very courteous thing to do I realized. Standing there was a fellow gay citizen and neighbor, a faint smile was not ably to convey social acceptance. He looked away with tardiness, hardly hiding his discontent from want of chatting up.

The Application
Confiding this with Marcus the other day, I wanted to know how he felt was the appropriate response. He said it was encouraged to be warm and neighborly. I realized it was for our sakes that had caused my tepid reaction to this man in the lift. I didn’t want to encourage anything in my own private time to accommodate another gay person without my bf’s knowledge. I guess it’s a reflex mechanism which kicks in when the warning signals goes off.

Semplice Simon

It's Too Heavy!!!

The Beginning:
I recently visited Pearl Center in ChinaTown, and had parked at the multustorey carpark. It was at the second storey and I needed to get onto the third. There were stairs but the effort irks me. Making my way I saw a crowd waiting at the Lift lobby. When the door opened, being nice and courteous, I let everybody go in first. My handphone beeped from a new SMS. Juggling from my phone and keys, I notice a very strange thing. The people inside had made a very nice U-shaped standing space for me to stand. How nice can my day get?! Smiling at them and acknowledging everybody, I mumbled “Thanks!” under my breath and stepped in haste.

The Problem:
There was this man, in cool black shades, shirt and berms, standing at the buttons. Pressed “Close” button. Nothing happened. As though the button’s circuitry was not in full connect, he pressed in harder and a couple more times. Nothing happened again. To my utter horror, he turned and says to me with this cool matrix voice that sounded from the lift system’s fortune-telling Oracle, “It’s too heavy!” There was this ring of empathy trailing off the walls.

The Response:
“Oh!” I answered. But there was no overweighing detector beeping? Being the closer at the door, I stepped out quickly and clumsily. Fidgeting with my phone, I sought to feel engaged in another world as compared to the current weight mishap and humiliation. Apparently the Lift couldn’t close and my weight was causing the inconvenience. Duh?!

The Application
Something like “Oh, the lift can’t close, it might be too heavy.” , or “Somebody try this, the doors can’t close.” Or something as simple as “Oh No, is the lift spoilt?” Wouldn’t it suffice? Surely if it had been a plump and voluptuous woman, she would have burst into a bout frantic hair-pulling. “It’s too heavy!!!?? Are you referring to me!!!??” Tsk. .The tactlessness of some people.

Semplice Simon

Snoring Boredom

Ever since I had been attached, with this new wave of happiness and contentment flooding my life, I'd not been able to draw on those past depressing monotone of everyday single hood living (..That’s a mouthful..), to write a decent Blog entry worthy of thought. Not that any past entries had been a job well done either.

Today's our 2 months 1 day meet up anniversary. Poor Marcus had to put up with my snoring at night. While some couples has this problem of expressing sensitive problems in fear of treading on each other's toes, I'm glad not to have suffered this same fate with him. It was after these two months that things are getting more settled and many uncertainties are falling neatly in place. We’d been working on communication, and vocalizing our inner thoughts, sorting out our mixed feelings and other concerns. We've asked each other questions, or rather; I am the one with the most questions, and he being the one with the allegorical, yet sometimes blunt answers. Are we doing it right for each other in this relationship? Did you ask yourself that?

We’d worked out a routine and plan, encompassing the things that he needed to do for his resolutions this year, and my own personal commitments. Inevitably, when a routine and plan comes up, and with the warming up of our company to each other, the question of boredom comes around. Will we get bored with each other? That's a difficult one. But I’ve always enjoyed delving a little deeper into my own mind and heart. If you can’t understand yourself to provide a satisfying answer, who else is there to know you?

As with the many people who like asking me questions, I enjoy satisfying myself with the motive. With understanding of why someone asks a question, is better to answer it straight on, don’t you think so? A few deductions came into my mind. Is he bored already? Is he afraid of getting bored? Is he making allowance and preparation in the future to feel bored? Is he trying to prevent himself from being bored? Is he afraid of me being bored? Is he trying to probe whether I am bored? Am I boring him? Is he boring me? Are we boring the little bacterium circulating around as resulting from our very breath!?!??

There are these two kinds of boredoms in a relationship, the way I see it:

Outwardly bored- The routine of everyday living and the constraints in life are putting flat the level of excitement in a relationship.

Inwardly bored- One does not mentally/psychologically/emotionally/sexually etc... Engage, excites, satisfy, complements and stimulates the other.

Being both outwardly and inwardly bored, does not mean the end of love. Conversely, you don’t need to sustain love with excitement and rekindle it once in a new moon. One has to be very careful to separating these two matters. Separating these means you can solve one and save the other. Combining them would mean the end of everything hopeful. I’ve always felt this strong mutual exclusivity between Love and all the feelings and emotions.

The solutions to the above, is apparent and I won’t bother to state them here. Use your creativity and imagination to solve them. Make a ripple for starters; make bigger waves as you go along. It is not that difficult, really.

Honestly, I've never been involved in a relationship which is so comprehensive and open, and regular reviews on our understanding and expectations of each other. In fact, we were discussing the other day that our formidable formula to working things out between us, is that: I've experienced 5 year long relationship, and he having to live 5 years more than me. I cannot agree more. It's quite plain to me at times we clearly know what is happening between us and with the other party, not much guesswork or mind games there. The novice would still struggle with primary issues which I think we've already worked through subconsciously on a faster plane.

Semplice Simon

This Is My Life, Rated

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.1
Mind:	8.2
Body:	8.8
Spirit:	7.1
Friends/Family:	5.2
Love:	7.9
Finance:	4.5
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

It's interesting to know that from such a short quiz and time frame, my whole life have been rated completed in front of me in a series of numbers and colored bars. OMG!!!!! What is this?!?! It is like a gypsy woman who gazes through the crystal ball at my oversized and magnified head, and starts screaming out statistics from goodness-know-where!?!? You get the point. I'm pleased with the results. The website says that I have a good life... that's that. As for making this reality true in my life, off the charts, that will be more work than a set of yes/no/true/false questions.

It still puzzles me why people reads the zodiac religiously, watch the stars and moons for their paths and movements, matching their lives' fate against a set of horribly drawn picture cards and worst, studying the lines on the hands and FACE!!?? (..Don’t look at me.. I’m not qualifying for that one.. ) . We take time to study questions and answer them; take personality and character tests and other geeky psychological tests. What do we really hope to achieve from all this? To know that our mornings will be brighter? To prepare for the next disaster that probably will never come? To find the flaws in our lives and character which only the mock divination can change us?

I'm not sure about you, but for me?? I find it depressing to subject my life in all aspect to something which is non-scientific, full of wild guesswork and based on probability and statistics. The human nature and its twists and turn of life, are way too complex and unpredictable for any odd bar graphs to represent. Goodness, even the bar charts in my office determines which salesperson to sack. Even that, my friends, has solid data to back it up. . This is my thought. Not a proven theory too.

Isn't it wonderful to go through life knowing your character/personality doesn't match a particular Zodiac or Chinese horriblescope sign? We would be free to mould ourselves into somebody better without having to excuse those nasty little habits, by chance, matched those horriblescopes? Wouldn't it be better if we can take the next few steps in life with a light and unburdened mind and heart, without having to be bothered by what a stack of cards or an old man reading my palm would say? Let's just think of life as it is, a bag of full of surprises. The nice and sweet ones, the bitter and unhappy ones. Reach your hand in and face it squarely!!!

Don't mind me... wrote this crap in 20 min.

Semplice Simon

Short Little Moosings - 11

One of my favorite song from Bette Midler. It is so simple yet, the words are so rich and deep with meaning. Please don't scorn and mock, don't sneer and despise and don't close your mind. Let your imagination explore the possible meaning of the lyrics. Whoever is reading this blog entry, give me your best take by posting a comment to me, what do you think is the meaning of the phrase "tin can".. in the phrase I've put in bold. I never did figure it out, and will gladly provide a gift for anybody who can give me a smart answer!!!

I think it’s going to rain today -- Bette Midler

Broken windows and empty hallways,
A pale dead moon in a sky streaked with grey.
Human kindness is overflowing,
And I think it's gonna rain today.

Scarecrows dressed in the latest styles,
The frozen smiles to chase love away.
Human kindness is overflowing,
And I think it's gonna rain today.

Lonely, lonely.
Tin can at my feet,
I think I'll kick it down the street.
That's the way to treat a friend.

Bright before me the signs implore me:
Help the needy and show them the way.
Human kindness is overflowing,
And I think it's gonna rain today.

Semplice Simon

Mood - Relaxed
Feeling - Impulsive yet inhibited
Thinking - Love Kamasutra (101 ways to tell a man you love him)
Love - Diva Las Vegas (Bette Midler - Experience The Divine)

New Year's Eve's Eve to New Year Day's Day

31/12/2005 1015pm - 01/01/2006 345am

I recently discovered, much to my initial shock, that a good friend/neighbor for many years, turned out to be gay and a chub chaser. The latter being the second shock. I am still reeling from the fact that a cute guy like him enjoys the portly and full. I had a crush on him donkey years ago. And knowing that we didn’t tell each other was bad, and that nothing could have come out from it even if he’d confessed to me, was worst. (ie. I fell short of his body type preferences) I’ve learnt over the years to take pleasure in missed opportunities. Knowing this, if not for this group of people who didn’t step into my life due to divine intervention, I might not have met my current beau.

Lets take heart in the best things that ended with us at the close of another year. Bring these things across and it would be the perfect way to end and begin. Champagne was popped for toast to the New Year during the gathering at Marcus’ place. Everybody waited anxiously in front of the TV while the time moved closer. What were your thoughts? Fear of routine is something I would feel. To resist the mundane and numbing realization that it’s another calendar of events with nothing special to look forward to. We want closure in the many dramatic episodes started in the year. To make us look at everything new ahead. Whatever can stop us from feeling renewed? It would be tragic if a new year comes and we didn’t feel the magic. Yes!! The MAGIC of all wondrous beginnings.

The rest of the night which led up to midnight was just a relax mix of chatting, video games, mahjong and eating. Tonight was my first night witnessing the “husbandship” of Marcus, washing the dishes? LOL. Well, that’s another thing I can really appreciate in another man, not being afraid to get your hands dirty. Washing dishes and clothes, taking and clearing out the trash and cooking. Well well well.. at least I won’t worry about rostering the kitchen duty in the future.

As the TV show counted down the seconds for us, I pulled him to a corner of the house where nobody can spot us. Midnight struck and we kissed. He’s one of the few magical beginnings I would want to bring forward in the New Year. The magic? Not starting out alone.

We played the night away, pictionary, and warped charades to act out famous gay iconic characters. Go figure how. That’s how my new year started then, with my love and lots of Princess Diana, Wonder Woman, Gandhi, Charlie’s Angels and Harrison Ford in Temple of Doom.


31/12/2005 910am - 1230pm

I've started working on one New Year resolution even before the year ended. That was to work on my 21 km Marathon. I met up with Marcus this morning for the longest run I've ever attempted in my life. We ran for 1 hr 20 min, I burnt 991 and him, 1000cal+!! Yes... my previous record was only 10km run in NS and that took me 1 hour in top form. I thoroughly enjoyed this run. One reason, it was simply because of him, and second was that I knew I could go a little further since, it's him. :P Fine .. I don't want to kill anybody here reading with mushiness. But that's something I really appreciate in a relationship. Being proactive and hassle less to plan things together. It didn't take us long to decide we needed to run and train together at East Coast this Saturday. Amidst of his GRE preparations and cooking duties for that night's party, I was extremely glad that he could spend that morning training together. Thanks Marcus!

The run went quite smoothly, not much pain from the knee, lots of admiring of guys running by, talking about getting cats and dogs next time, asking each others' heart rate, and how each was doing during the run. Even from this run, I could learn a little bit more about him and from him. (... and about cats shitting...) We ran from Mac to Fort Road, to the Hawker Center and back again. Glancing over at him occasionally, I think my life would never be whole if he's not there beside me.

30/12/2005 710pm - 1145pm

I met up Marcus at Bugis junction for a short shopping spree. The traffic and parking was a killer. He bought some knockdown CD storage system from Muji, maybe 80% from need and 20% from the glib and cute salesman. (Claimed Marcus..!!). We were supposed to meet up 3 of his house mates for a dinner treat by one of them, for clinching a business deal successfully.

I wasn't expecting anything which I couldn't handle, and had prepared myself mentally prior to the dinner. I guess it's a habit. It's always good to generate various scenarios and test cases to sift out the ungraceful, unpleasant, and unexpected. But for this time, I forgot to include myself into the list of parameters. Dinner went well. But that was beside the fact that I couldn't bring myself to talk to his housemates and to include myself in the conversation totally. Chitty-Chatty-me had lost my tongue suddenly. It was a conversational blackout for me. Disastrous! I wanted to stand up, scream at the top of my lungs, the big exclaimed "ARGH!!!!! WHAT THE HELLL!!?!?!?!?!". But of course, that cannot happen. It's too unglamorous for me.

I felt really apologetic for my awkward silence and behavior during dinner. I raced to dig out what really went through my mind. I had a long and unadulterated conversation with Marcus. It was, 40% Tired mind and body, 50% adverse pressure by myself to love his friends and fit in, 10% totally PMSed!!! I think it was one of those nights where the flow was exceptionally red. I felt bad to have subjected him to my capricious temperaments. I gave him explanations for the over-reaction to the whole circumstance. After which, his perception to my predicament, the solution/advice he offered, and the amount of patience and understanding he showed, made me realized again... how much I can really love this man. Oh Gosh.. I am sooooo attracted.

The night ended well, I felt tons better because of him. I told myself before I went off; this is not going to be difficult for me. Focus hard on what I really need to do, and not on what is ridiculously not going to happen!!

Semplice Simon