Things will be alright.... eventually...

Marcus finally messaged me yesterday, he was supposed to leave for Singapore for a 10 months course in Boston. Imagine that, if I was still together with him now, I would I have cried myself into pulp yesterday at the airport. I'm glad we didn't arrive at that, I might not always be good at handling certain partings. I had been trying to message him over Skype, MSN and phone but to no avail. I was extremely glad that he finally message me yesterday. It's been 2 months exactly that we split up, and I still do feel sad about it. Was going through some of our pictures just now and I coudln't help but smile at some of the silly shots of him and me, and feel reminiscent with the Loving ones. Well, somethings are maybe not supposed to work out. It's difficult to admit this but he did really touch my heart very deeply and helped me searched my soul and mind. Maybe that's why some of his friends described him as, very emotionally connected and able to touch that soft spot in everybody's heart.

Well, he's gone now. At least from Singapore but not from my life I hope. He's over there at US studying for the next 10 months. Beats me why all my bfs have to go overseas to study one time or the other. I hope Thomas won't be going anywhere. At least if he's going to study we can do it together this time. I was thinking of doing a Masters in Logistics and Supply Chain Management. Whereas he's going to do something similar. How's things between us? I think we are doing fine. He moved out from his house recently. Too many people staying over at his place and he doesn't really have his own private space now. He decided to move out to a good friend of his. Only the mother's around, since all the children got married and left the next. She's the best. Her mother is this hip and sincere old lady who saw too many sunrise to bother about the glooms of life. Thomas moved in over 2 weeks ago. And the experience had been quite nice. At least I get to call him at night without having to worry that his sister is listening.

I think we are gradually establishing a healthy routine of seeing each other almost every other nights and going out during the weekend. Planning for upcoming holidays and short trips here and there. It's been fast. Content it is just to see him, I don't mind doing anything else with him. I guess it's always like that in the beginning of all relationships. there there.. You can ask me.. I've started too many of those. I think our work is quite stressful. Exceptionally so for him. I never tell him this but I was stationed in his department today and I notice the amount of tension, stress and bustling activities really can snap one apart. He's taking it quite well. Admirably I think he's doing quite well. I just hope it doesn't affect his health. He has this skin problem which needs tending to, a bit of rash and itchy patches here and there. I think stress causing that.

It's been a good 2 months plus and I can't wait to say how fabulous it is and going to be. We are slowing down a little bit but that's ok. Looking at him it never cease to amaze me that I will ever get this chance with him. Even so, it puts me in an ever more determine position to love and appreciate him more. I can't wait to shower more love on him. As though there'll be no tomorrows. I'm beginning to have a few worries though. The same questions of whether I am showing him enough attention, enough love, enough time. Whether he'll eventually find me suitable for him and vice versa. So many questions to decipher....so many things to worry about. My ex messaged me saying this.. "things will be alright eventually... ". How true... Would it still be alright when things work out of expectations and everything falls out of perspective, out of our control? Would it still be alright when disappointments comes and the inevitable happens. Will it be alright when we all eventually walk down that lonesome path that leads to finality... would it be alright still when somebody dies and when the one person we love dies?

Maybe.. just maybe.. that some things are not meant to be alright. We are all meant to walk around in life imperfect in our happiness, incomplate in our pursuit of contentment, dented by hurts, scarred by disappointments, bounded by fears and apprehension, shaken by uncertainties and finally consumed by our own "..not alrightness..".. What if? It's a sadistic vision but that's often time the truth. Where some of us so eagerly seeks recouncilation .. .some others just live with it and never have closure in life. Imagine that, reading the first part of every book but never finishing it. Would things still be alright... eventually?

Semplice Simon

Short Little Moosings - 15

Happy 2 Months Anniversary Thomas!! Happy NS Enlistment 10 Year Anniversary for me too. I enlisted into the Service this very day 10 years ago. Wow.. a long have gone and at this time, I was unpacking my stuff in my bunk, getting ready to fall in for last parade.

Anyway, Thomas is feeling very stressed out and frustrated at work today. It was the first time I saw him having such a downcast expression. It almost hurt to see him frowning this way. Most of the time, he would be smiling or just plain jolly wolly. The problem is his work. There's too many problems with the shipments he handles. I don't think it's like this all the time, but today was exceptionally difficult for him I think. My poor thomey...... If I have anything to say about that, he will be having more team members added on to help him with his work. And I don't understand why is he the only one working up to almost 10pm every other day. Personally, I think he's really very good at what he is doing. The amount of knowledge and experience was quite significant depth when I hear him talk about work. But then, he cannot be this superman to handle every other thing. I think he's being abused, seriously. But that's honestly my own opinion. I should drop some hints to his boss soon.

I wish I have that much operational experience as him. But I guess with that comes more responsibilities and stress. I don't mind transfering over to help him though. But I must keep my pay lar :P I really hope things get better for him. The internet says that stress at work can aggravate psoriasis. (skin rashes). I'm here waiting for him now. He was shouting at somebody just now about some shipment. My first time seeing his frustration and wrath unleashed. hmmm ...never mind lar... as long as he doesn't try me like his customers can already... !!! :D

Semplice Simon

Movies with Marcus

26-Nov-05 Film Prime GV Grand
04-Dec-05 Concert Philharmonic Wind Goes Pop Esplanade CH
10-Dec-05 Film Aeon Flux GV Grand
18-Dec-05 Film The Promise GV Grand
26-Dec-05 Film The Chronicles of Narnia GV Grand
14-Jan-06 Film Memoirs of a Geisha GV Grand
27-Jan-06 Film Before Sunrise Cairnhill
29-Jan-06 Film Steam Boy Cairnhill
30-Jan-06 Film As It is in Heaven Cairnhill
05-Feb-06 Film Broke Back Mountain Cairnhill
16-Feb-06 Concert Bach's Back Esplanade CH
17-Feb-06 Film I Not Stupid 2 GV Plaza
25-Feb-06 Film Munich GV Grand
26-Feb-06 Film Underworld 2 Cairnhill
12-Mar-06 Film Mrs Henderson Presents GV Plaza
29-Mar-06 Film Ice Age 2 Lido
23-Apr-06 Film Crash Cairnhill
28-Apr-06 Film Ice Age 1 Cairnhill
30-Apr-06 Film Scary Movie 3 Cairnhill
08-May-06 Film Les Choristes en Concert Cairnhill
08-May-06 Film Connie & Cala Cairnhill
14-May-06 Concert University of Santo Tomas Singers In Concert Esplanade CH
17-May-06 Film Lie With Me GV Grand
19-May-06 Film X-Men I Cairnhill
21-May-06 Film X-Men II Cairnhill
26-May-06 Film 7 Swords (Chinese) Cairnhill
27-May-06 Film X-Men III GV Grand
09-Jun-06 Film Pushing Hands Cairnhill
10-Jun-06 Film La bella vita Cairnhill
11-Jun-06 Film Howl's Moving Castle Cairnhill
14-Jun-06 Concert Collegium Vocale Gent Bach B minor Mass Esplanade CH
30-Jun-06 Film Pirates of the Carribean I Cairnhill
01-Jul-06 Film Superman Returns GV Grand
06-Jul-06 Film Amadeus Cairnhill
09-Jul-06 Film Omen I Cairnhill
14-Jul-06 Film Final Fantasy (Movie) VII Advent Children Cairnhill
16-Jul-06 Film Pirates of the Carribean II - Dead Man's Chest GV Grand
18-Jul-06 Film Ju Dou Cairnhill
06-Aug-06 Film Lake House GV Grand
02-Sep-06 Film Eat Drink Man Woman Cairnhill
09-Sep-06 Concert Nancy Argenta - A Voice Divine VCH
10-Sep-06 Film The Devil Wears Prada GV Grand
17-Sep-06 Film The Banquet (Chinese) GV Grand
23-Sep-06 Film Singapore Dreaming GV Grand
29-Sep-06 Concert The Creation Esplanade CH
15-Oct-06 Film The Departed GV Grand
05-Nov-06 Film The Prestige GV Grand
03-Dec-06 Film Casino Royale GV Vivo
04-Dec-06 Concert Three - SYC, Japan, Philippines Esplanade CH
10-Dec-06 Film 3 Needles GV Vivo
16-Dec-06 Film Eragon GV Vivo
22-Dec-06 Film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Cairnhill
01-Jan-07 Film A Very Long Engagement Cairnhill
02-Jan-07 Film Curse of the Golden Flower GV Vivo
06-Jan-07 Film Queen GV Vivo
06-Jan-07 Film 21 Grams Cairnhill

There's more to the above, but couldn't get hold of the complete list from him. Ok I know, you must be asking me... what's the whole point of this post? Well... it's just to tell you guys.. how wonderful he is.

Semplice Simon

Coming out of the Closet - Episode 2

Got into a police case recently, last sunday. Suffice to say that it involved my parents and another hawker. Thomas was there throughout the ordeal and it was in this discomforting situation that he first met my mum. I could see that they were quite curious about him. Thank God for all courtesy and politeness he showed, and I think my parents was trying to be nice too. It's always rewarding to be respectful to your elders.

After we went home and I'd sent him back. My mum asked me, was he the one that I brought back home. I said yes. I think there will be regular nights like this with questions from her henceforth and I wasn't wrong. Yesterday night, another fresh new set of questions. Ranging from asking about him, about work, about getting a wife, about MZ dressing so man like, about my uncle being right about me, about how relatives will view us, about how my dad won't accept it, about AIDS, about me going Japan trip alone, about home come I am no longer going out with the "doctor friend". She must have told me dad. Since he was showing a more hightened level of concern to my whereabouts nowadays.

She needs time to adjust I think, to accept it and to sink the idea in. She's still struggling with self-denial and that false hope that I was ultimately kidding and would turn away from this.. "disease" and temporal state of mind. It would be up to her to explain things to my dad. I have to said that I was seeing Thomas, but I think it was quite obvious. I asked her during our conversation, how she felt about him. She smiled and couldn't really put into words. Maybe it's a struggle to make comments and not wanting to be understood as agreeing with my lifestyle, that's stopping her. Oh gosh.. it's so complicated after. How I wish it was all so simpler. Like telling here I'd just bought a new bag or something. haha.. But Thomas isn't any old bag...

Semplice Simon

Coming out of the Closet - Episode 1

Never thought or dreamt that I will have this day, where I would finally even begin to tell my parents that I'm gay. But here it goes. It all started today when my mum knew that I was bringing a friend home on Saturday while they were working. Mum had since guessed that quite well, since I never called back on Saturday afternoons to find out what time she was working that day. As I was going to bath today, she bluntly commented that it was time to call my friend to ask him back today. I was a bit pissed thinking that it was my sister who told her, since she came back the last time while he was in the toilet. I decided to tell her that I didn't like sister telling on me. She commented that it was herself, who had guessed it right, and I knew, that it was her who had sent sister earlier on saturday to come back with dougnuts and to "spy" on me. Anyway, things aside. I sent mum to work today. And telling the truth, I said yes, that I was indeed bringing somebody home on saturdays. It was a secondary friend, and a boy, and not a girl, I emphasized. I told her that MZ and gang knew him and we were all close friends. Subsequently in the car, she started commenting how I should concentrate on my job, and to build up my career instead of being distracted by wayward affairs like this. I told her my job was great and my boss likes me. She said it's most important I grew up healthy and be happy. I told her I was very happy indeed. She went on to say how hard she was working now so that she didn't have to presurrize too much into me having to look after them when their years get older. I told I felt no pressure and all things was well.

Continuing that, she warned me not to get to involved with certain friends and how come I had Queer As Folks DVD under my table. I told her immediately, that I was gay, what would she do? She said she had already suspected it together with my dad for long. How come I never had a girlfriend and even gotten married at my age. She asked how come when she question me about Arthur many years ago, I had said no to her. I said, I was young and did not know how to put these thing to her. She asked, what about those people outside who so easilyt get AIDS. I again rebutted, but my friends are healthy ones and of good influence. She took her last aim by religion, quoting that GOD created us first man and woman, that we may procreated. I told her things weren't that easy, and if I knew thus, I wouldn't be a Christian. Finally, when we reach the destination, she left the car saying that she needs to talk to me more on this. Other private affairs of mine, she won't bother, but this, she repeated, she would need to interfere.

Sigh... I'm not sure how it's going to continute, but I will keep you guys posted. Just came back from Play with Thomas, and my dad was sitting in the kitchen reading newspaper and waiting for me. Of the many surprises, he never asked me why I came bak so late, he asked me. I told him I went out with friend. He asked where.?? Another surprise... I told him.. don't ask so much.

Semplice Simon

I'm a HarryPotterian

I'm a Harry Potter Fan and fanatic. From the first book to the last, the movie likewise, I had been following it closely. To what degree you might ask me? I have each book at least 5 times each, the movies? Well, counting up to 10, for each part. Yes, I'm that crazy about it. We were quizzing each other and see who can get the trivia questions correct. My colleague and I that is. I was very taken by Harry Potter in the beginning when the first movie came out. After watching it and being wowed by the magical special effects, quirky conversations, the cute characters and the serious edge of the slow revealing plot, I was very convinced that we should be doing Harry Potter in our basic Literature classes!! :p

The Last book was the pinnacle and orgasmic ending to the whole series. I've never read a book with such fervent desire. It was full of finalities and revelations to which so many mysteries were posed to us, and so many secrets were hidden from the readers up until now. I was most sad when Dobby the house elf had to die. He sacraficed himself to save his master Harry Potter. A dagger straight though his heart. The most touching part was how Harry refused to use magic to dig up a grave but to merely use the conventional techniques of a spade. My other favorite part of the book, was the Battle of Hogwarts. The part of the Order, the Students and their families, the magical animals and the house elves all came out to fight the Death Eaters. Oh what courage, bravery and chivalry. My most favorite phrase in the book? "NOT MY DAUGHTER!! YOU BITCH!!!" was the part that Molly Weasley, whose son Fred was earlier killed by Bellatrix Lestrange, and whose daughter was nearly killed by a Killing Curse, fought Bellatrix and slayed her. It was most amazing and elated that a housewife wife and mother, whom to protect and avenge her children, can duel like a scorned witch with her wrath released on her enemies.

I still don't understand why many critics and religious bodies had said that the books got darker over time. I would say it's partly the Author's wishes to have her writing mature together with the age of its readers and also the characters in the book. On the contrary, I felt that the book hightlights and promotes many good things like courage, sensibility, team work, kinship and forgiveness. You'll have to read the book yourself if you wanna know what I am talking about. It's not that difficult to read them, it's after all, children books.

Semplice Simon