One Short of Thirty

I woke up this morning determined and cautious, counting my stars right that it would be simply a pleasant and non traumatically explosive day for me. It's my birthday!! Yipeee..Marcus was the first to sing me a birthday song. The born-in-the-zoo thing... Mingzhu was next. Meiyi's baby son was born yesterday. So that's another miraculous coincidence. A list of friends came wishing me a Happy and Blessed birthday and there were the usual couple of surprise as usual. Friends whom I never thought remembered, actually remembered. Not that I would ever blame anybody for forgetting my birthday, I don't really remember theirs either. It's time to find out theirs, or at least set in reminders in my Palm.

Nothing exceptionally irritating at work today. Nearly couldn't leave on time. My accountant was chasing me for some stupid Cash Accounting Reporting. Due to system constraints, I have to report how our Cash Flow is doing and what are the variuos element breaking that "flow". Nope, nothing much else at work. Quickly grabbed my bag and ran like the wind. It's my birthday godamnit!!!

I was very excited with what Marcus is doing today. He asked me what I wanted months back. I told him a Sandwich will do. He's always so amazing with his creative ideas and calculated planning in prepare the "Sandwich". We went off the Chen Fu Ji to eat the incredible fried rice with the not-so impressive hot plate toufu and pork ribs. He came up with the sandwich, place a candle on it and I made a wish. What's with the sandwich? I was expecting a simple ham or turkey sandwich, but instead, he spend the afternoon putting together a 9-layered. : Bread, Cheese, Ham, Sun dried tomatos, lettuce, Pork Floss, Olives, frresh strawberry, Fresh tomatos ...hehee.. I ate it all up. YUMS..! It tastes quite interesting....I could taste italian... chinese... Fruit Fresh.. preserved sourness.. they all stand out quite well.

After dinner, we took a walk around Riverside Point.. going Liang Court, bought chocolates, bought some bargain books and music scores from kino. Went down to see an open field area to see guys flying doodle plane thingie. It's a light weight remote controlled propellor plan. Lit up with neon colored wings and zooming and gliding pass in the air. He kept stressing that my birthday was "just-like-that..".. i knew he had something up his sleeves. I have no qualms with my birthday going past peacefully, going thirty but short of 1, we could all appreciate a pleasant non-exciting day.

We went back to his place after dinner. :) He bought a few things for my Birthday, there was a "Stella" Dvd by Bette Midler imported from the states. I was always looking for it ever since I saw it many years ago. It's not widely known. Thus most shops wouldn't bother to bring it in. There were a few more other gifts. A set of Aaron Speakers.. a NAD amplifier, Vincent Ng latest book for oogling, Josh Groban sing-along-cd plus book!! Gosh .. I always like Josh Groban's Music, but not everybody can sing his songs. There was "Parallels for Mac", a program used to run other OS as a virtual machine. Very useful indeed!!



I generally do not bother much with birthday, left on my own I don't thinkI would have bothered to do anything at all. My parents will cook etc. But after coming to certain age like 30, it's probably not a glad thing to remember and celebrate another life token taken away. I'd ot bee ntoo fruitful over the last 1 year and thus, not reassuring to know that I am short off 1 year to accomplish what we had set out to do in life. Birthdays are like, milestones perhaps. In a project, I was taught in PM course that we were suppose to plot in milestone in my project plan, so as to stop pause and examine a few thing. Like budget, resources, deliverables and timing etc.. We will find ouselves to be oddly out of sync with what we initially put up, a fabulous plan it was.

Life's like a big gantt chart perhaps, with many milestone and everytime we review it, we are falling short of it. There are the lucky ones, who achieves almost everything they had planned for, and when the birthday comes, it's tick they put on the check box. Tasks completed.

Perhaps the reason why I have had been letting my birthday past with not much of excitment, is the fact that I did not achieve substantial and important milestone in my life. Coming to think of it, what is there to celebrate actually? An increment in my job? A new and more exciting job? Quite shallow hor? Must think of something. Maybe by next year before my Sep birthday, I can work out a milestone that's worth celebarating the birthday to !!!

Semplice Simon

A Singaporean Dreaming

I finished watching the movie "Singapore Dreaming" directed by Dr Woo Yen Yen. The show basically depicts life's big dreams being unfulfilled in modern Singapore Living. I never did pin very high hopes on local singapore productions, but over the years' of improved productions both on the big screen and in theater, it would do justice to local directors and producers/writers, to see their works and appreciate a taste besides the hollybollywoods. And I wasn't disappointed at all.

The show started with the lady singing an oldie in Hokkien, for which I was too motified to think it would carry the signature singlish and half past english hokkien kind of language for the whole show. It did not turn out that bad. There was a good mix of Hokkien, Chinese, Good english, good singlish etc... If you can't understand Hokkien well, you might just miss a few good hearty jokes here and there.

The story is about a family living in Singapore, heavily in debts and struggling to make ends meet. When the father struck the 2 million lottery, it might seems that the sudden wealth will solve all problems they faced. It is not to be so, watch how the married sister struggles with the bitterness to having second best to her brother, and the second preferred to the parents. See how the husband she married had to fit into the big Singapore dream of making it rich, and to suppress his deepest desire to become a rock musician. By the way, I still don't undestand why the china beer lady asked him for $100 and he turned up later the next morning for the funeral. I am trying not to think that he slept with her. The father, having slogged half his life away in debts of his son's oversea studies 's school fees, had to himself helped his boss work as a credit collector. The son Ah Seng, whom the whole family had pinned their hopes on, tried to led everybody into a false hope and confidence that he actually made it. He only managed to study in a Polytechnical University? That's apparently not a big thing in singapore... according to the indian interviewer. There's also the future to be daughter in law and wife to be of Ah Seng, whose simple world revolves around taking pictures via phone of every other days' mundane events and put in her blog, and faithfully awaits and wishing hard for the day Ah Seng comes and marries her. And last by not least, I applaud the wife, who gave a stunning, refined and precise representation of the whole essence and spirit of the movie.

The bottom line of the show would be what the China lady said : "Some gave up their dreams to work hard and earn money, regardless iif t's the things they don't enjoy. Some use what talents they have and work hard now, so as to fulfill those dreams they have, in the future."

Which one are you? I can only raise my hand in surrender to note, I'm of the first kind. I never really did enjoyed doing Computing and IT. I took it in Poly and Uni simply because it allows me to make a living. My first love was music. I love to play the French horn, the flute and to do conducting. I picked up singing later but still, all these were my first love. After watching the movie, perhaps I should make a long term plan, to see whether I can return to fulfill my dreams. Without realising our visons in life, and living it to fulfill those dreams and passions, wouldn't it be that we are safe but only half real?

Simply Simple MacCookiest Simon

Thou Shalt Surely Crash

Guess what? I was trying to organise my picture in my iPhotos just and MacCooki crashed! Can you believe that? The pop up screen came up neatly and politely addressed the apparent horror I was feeling, telling me that something not "nice" had happened and none of my other applications were affected. It even asked me to provide Apple with details on what was happening before IT actually happened. I wasn't resenting the fact the Mac actually aborted a program prematurely, rather bitter at the realization; Nothing is ever dependable in life. Nothing is indefinitely unchangeable, null-degenerative and immutable. My dependabe little air con might break down know, my fan my start making choky noise and fail on me. My bed might break one of its leg, the window might fall off the hinges and as I am typing away, my wardrobe might just decide to collaspe on me. Nothing and I repeat, nothing is dependable. As Murphy always put it, as something is too go wrong, it will surely come to pass. This is to say of all computer gadgets and devices.

I had recently witnessed a few of my friends being caught in panic when their computers were invaded by an unknown virus or spyware. There was much hooha as expected with the usual rushing around to seek help.. From the knowledgeable Techies, the the whimisical Computer Geeks to the unorthodox Computer Bomohs... None to which, were able to solve their problems. The best solution that i could anyone? The Three Golden Rules of Computer Usage (ie. applies only the Windows and PC users).

They are :

1. Never keep important documents on the same partition/hard disk.
2. Makes sure Virus Scan is up, Windows Firewall is up, Windows/Office Update done.
3. Back up a set of your Programs/Documents externally, and know how to redo your own computer.

In fact, I make it a half yearly event to format my pc. Not just for the fun of it, but to get rid of any strange programs/spyware that might have been written in without my knowledge. There you have it. My point being, not to be too dependent on machines and gadgets. If you even need them for life, make sure you know how to survive resurrecting them.

MacCookiest Simon

Panic Attacks!

I just had a panic attack yesterday. Made an appointment with my hairdresser to have her (butch friend) cut my hair in the newly opened salon at east point simei. Didn't manage to make it clear in the telephone conversation and she ended up having to wait for me at temesek towers instead. Now that's a big boo boo... given that i had even asked my other buch friend MZ to join me. She wanted to see the other butch friend of mine. ok. I'm not too sure whether it's even appropriate to use the term butch on them but they are two very good lesbo friends of mine. MZ being with me for 16 years already and the other, having to had cut my hair since 1994. From my short sec school hair cut.. to the Poly big bob pong pong hair.. to the sudden short clip, to the army shaved and finally ending up today... Anyway back to the topic.. she was later and I was waiting.. waited for 1.5 hours before she came... cut my hair and rushed off to the library to collect a book with MZ.

Marcus was having dinner with Keith.. hmm.. his long time crush. Ok.. nothing's between them but I do feel a bit uneasy whenever they meet up. I don't really mind them actually.. but the fact that it's a long time crush and he's quite cute.. makes me feel a bit .. jealous? insecure? haha i'm not too sure myself. But they are alright. Waited for the carparks here and there. finally collected my book and had to watch MZ have dinner. All the while, we were talking lesbos and their relationships, their uncertaintiies etc.. We aren't that different after all!

I was quite eager to get home. Since i needed to read a couple of books and to pick a few thing, iTuned my music play with my mac etc.. I was quite desperate. Finally MZ fini her Fuzhou Fishballs and rushed again and sent her back home finally reaching home around 930pm. Gosh.. haven't even eaten my dinner yet. Complained a bit about mum having to cook everytime I have outside appointment.. had a bit of lashing out from Dad about me being an ingrate.. and finally hitting the weights. Did 6 x 12 sets of squats and itunes at the same time... and bathed. My books!!!

Start reading around 1030.. really pissed by then.. i was feeling a bit breathless... i not have enough time to finish my stuff. I felt my skin turning cold and felt some jitters crawling up. I tried to catch my breath. To my horror .. i saw visions of the problems I am facing.. the things I am supposed to do.. all turned into life like statues and pointing fingers at me accusingly. I tried suppressing but the silent scream escaped.

Slammed my book shut grab my mac and went back to my bed room. Switched off the bedroom light and sms Marcus.. knew he might still be dwindling with Keith so decided to sleep. Still felt panicky. Marcus called.. I told him wat i was doing and the problems I was facing the whole day. As usual... he's always so patient and sweet at the right times... anyway.. I told him it was a ridiculous time to discuss matters like this pass midnight.. i just wanted to sleep.

This was a panic attack for me .. I never felt time as so strain and thin and my life line hanging thread before. It's an alarming experience. Woke up this morning and told myself.. i need to prioritise.. focus and relax. Life need not be so messy. Take it one at a time. Who's gonna ruin my life beside myself? :)

Simon MacCooki

A Simple Reason

How many things in our lives allows us to make a split second decision and convince ourselves that it's the right thing to do? Blabbering nonsense again yes? Yes! Well, I am quitting my current job now. And the reason which I gave? I'm not happy anymore. Like the many other things in life and the way I approach them nowadays, is the need for urgent let's-not-waste-another-thought-on-it kinda of decisions. Having most of the colleagues which I used to worked with quitting and having their jobs dumped on me, and plus the fact that my lady boss favours fat and charismatically woman please bald man to work for her. I don't exactly fall into her list of pampered babies. She needs to express her materal instincts desperately. As such, much work had been dumped on me because of the fact that I am capable and intelligent .. ( vomit. ) and also, I have the courage to make difference and stand up for my views.

But those reason aren't enough to keep my shoes down and my leg on the ground. I give up. Totally. When she pulled me into the room and asked me for the reason, I told her straight without the slightest tinge of hesitation. I am not happy. I can't possibly see any reason better than that to stop me from changing job. Isn't that the same with many other things we should do in life after 30? I am not happy, I am fedup, don't give me this crap i don't need this.. blah blah.

It took me another 3 months plus to push into the gear of job hunting and finally finding myself one in an established logistic firm in Changi.. near my house thank God. I am happier now, well at least until I start work. But hey, can't blame me for trying to myself happier yes? It's a simple reason.

Simple MacCookiest

MacFun

There are still so many things to learn on this MacBook. There are countless softwares and other cool utilities to explore. Planning to get a book on it this weekend and to read througt. Getting many sources of information from MH too. From magazine, the forum etc. It makes me wonder why I didn't really bothered to learn about it last time. Why do I find it so fun now? But not then? Perhaps I am just another 5 min heat on this short craziness. I hope not. I didn't incur this sudden expense on a short heated feeling.

I guess I am very much like this in life. I never really favored Technology stuff and following up on the trends and gigs of this IT New World has not really been m favorite past time. I would seriously be doing some other things. Singing? Continuing with my horn playing? Hanging out with friends and of course, spending more time with Marcus. All this fun things sometime chokes up more than it oughts to. What am I blabbering about again? Nowadays I cannot even get my train of thoughts correct and in sequentially linked and logical manner.

Did I mention that I am changing job again? Yes... again. I cannot stand my current company anymore. Fancy having to work more when your boss thinks you are able to manage with the extra manpower that just resigned. One of my favorite colleauge's last day today. It was fun with to have her around. I didn't really enjoy her company initially when we first met. The usual happend. As time passes we find the likes of each other and hit it off better. To somehow realise this joy and fun of a companion which I'd found in her. Well, she's no more.

Somethings takes a long time for to realise the loveliness of it, some other things we realised within a short while. While it may still stand to test whether whither of which is able to stand the test of enduring interest, I can only say, I have just begun enjoying MacFun!

Simon MacCooki

My MacCounter

As the man walked to the store behind and emerged with a box in his right hand, my heart beat increased and could faintly taste that dry eagerness on the back of my throat. My fingers had a tingling sensation to them, something which I have long awaited for weeks have finally come. This man is going to give it to me. As he approached, i briefly stuck out my tongue and lick my lips and poised myself for the coming orgasmic experience. It's mine!! Finally...

He placed the box on small little panel in front of me, i rubbed my hands with glee as we brushed our shoulders. I could see the glitter in his eyes mirroring mine. As his hands reached for the box and lifted the lid, rays of glorious light beamed fast out of the inner treasure onto our faces. I held my breath as his quivering hands reached further and pulled free the one thing I have been yearning after. The MacBook!!!

I have been planning to dive into the Mac Technology for quite a number of years. I never did get the chance to fully try and test. Adopting this set of skills was not necessary for me still. But with upcoming Intel Duo Core and the vast possibilities Apple could explore with this realization of Intel Technology and its architecture, there are many wonders that will come about from acquiring this new experience. It has now become important for me as an IT Professional to tell others, I have a Apple Mac at home!

I do not think my skills are ever complete without learning this part or at least experience as a Entry Level beginner to the world of Max OS. I cannot afford to tell my IT peers that know not that one thing which has brought much joy to the computing experience of others. I must learn it!

Of course there are more things I can still do with this piece of gadget, and there are definitely more things to learn. I have still groping in the dark. I hope to get hold of the books and to at least master the essentials.

Wish me the best in this crusade into the world of Macs.

Simon MacCooki

Soul mates and Companions

Everybody has their own definitions of what a soul mate and a companion is supposed to be. According to the dictionary, a soul mate is one whom you have a deep affinity to. Affinity would be a strong attraction which comes naturally to both parties. A companion would be a person who merely provides a physical presence and depicts one of a lower worth, maybe. How would we know who our soul mate would be? Would you want to spend your life with a companion? We all set requirements, standards and moulds to which we benchmark our peers to them. We measure them, size them up over time and gradually make a classification of their roles in our lives. A soul mate? Or simply a companion. We cannot make these decisions so early in our first encounter with that special someone, but as time passes, this process of categorization, kicks in subconsciously.

I do have my own idea of what a soul mate ought to be like. I sincerely think that there are many soul mates out there. People who I feel the strong bond of friendship and connection almost very quickly and naturally. There were also those that got themselves filtered out from the fleeting acquaintances and friends of superficiality, over a long period of time. In all them, I feel a strong affinity in them. To confide in them my deepest problems, my darkest fears, my truest self, and weakest struggles etc. I never had to fear them placing too quick a judgment on me, misunderstanding my point in a flash, and or simply not able to understand me. But alas! I can say there are not a lot of these people in my life. A few good juicy apples fill the whole stomach. It's better than to have a basket full of lousy ones.

The thing about soul mates is the fact that we want them to keep us companion for the rest of our lives. I cannot imagine spending my life with merely with someone who only provides a physical presence in my life and may never connect with the strong bond and affinity. I rather not have it. I cannot have someone who is my soul mate, and am not able to spend my life with him or her. It's inconceivably tragic! The last thing I want is for me to be merely a companion but is not able to be his or her soul mate. I rather not have it. It is not what I want either.

There are those who believe that there can only be one soul mate, and that they don't have to spend the lives together. Some believes they are the complete other half of their soul, and finding them would complete their life. But a soul is a soul, it belongs to us, the "mate" is an external party, and does not refer to another half of the same essence. Essentially, a soul mate is just another companion. Mate is synonymous with companion. Perhaps a bit nearer to our soul, but definitely not a torn away half.

This idea of soul mate is intrigues me very much, and it still sets me thinking what kind of role I am currently playing. The idea can be explored further. Would I be content playing companion? I don't think so. We all would like to improve ourselves and worth in another person's life. It takes time to come closer to each other's soul. It is a process and needs time to develop.

Semplice Simon

To Teach or Not To Teach

It's been another long week at work. Much scandals and politicking had been arising from various shift in the department organization chart. Good news was that I managed to shift myself up in 2 postion to be directly below my project leader. The bad news is the increase in job responsibilities and projects. Furthermore, I cannot set my mind into changing another job as easily I could. My project leader now is much confident, and dependent on my ability in helping her to sweep up the mess others created for her. To have to dump her the shitty job, I probably have to tell myself to be heartless. ie. That's not really too difficult for me if I should set my mind in that.

Anyway, been recently offered a teaching position in ACS(I). ok.. Cute Boys!! That's the first thing that came into my mind. haha.. Much apprehension after that. I don't want to have my picture appearing on the newspaper to having molested some cute innocent boys. Should i take up the offer then? I am thinking about it seriously as the offer had not been made to me yet. I can't deny the fact that other advantages comes along with being an academic, and the cons being not able to return to the industry ever again.

Life's full of decisions, and one of its kind, and classic it is, would be to make a decision for self gain and satisfaction, as oppose to loyalty. I can stay for my colleagues.. my friends. But as one of my colleague would now say to me, you can stay for them.. but will the stay for you? It's each man for his own in the cruel world. I cannot agree more.

Semplice Simon

Yodeling Yodeling.. !!

I returned home just now feeling very much satisfied with myself. I'd sang a lot this weekend. Marcus painstakingly put together a book of songs recently and compiled a cd with all the sample MP3 and backup music for them. I can't denied my excitment to listen to them and to try my best to copy certain styles. I've never really taken a liking for opera. They didn't make sense to me. But as the days went, the more I listend to Marcus and his singing, and all the other sampling of fantastic tenor voices; being induced with a growing interest is inevitable.

I have a lot of things to improve in my vocal techniques. Began teaching choirs for like 11 years ago with zero knowledge. Along the way, there were much help to what a choral sound should sound like. I strongly advocate the belief in "Musically Sound Common Sense" and of its approach to musical interpretation. I believed that we don't have to be professinally trained all time. But boy was i wrong. I realised over the years that, some time, we do need to extra professional advice from somebody who does know their stuff.

I came from a wind band background and playing french horn and flute took up nearly another 8 years of my time. Never could I imagine that I would be working so hard on my vocal works, to master that musical instrument which is nearer to my soul. I very happy that I am improving. Along the way, Marcus had identified certain wrong techniques which I'd adopted, and some other things to polish on. Same as my other "vocalistic" friends, they had identified the same set of problems with my voice.

Basically, I lack air support, the high ringing and projectivity of a tenor voice, the italian/german flavor to opera and lots of other things. It takes time but I guess I will get there.

Semplice Simon

Things We Don't need at 30

One good thing about aging, is that when you come to a ripe "old" age of 30, you realised that you have put up with many nonsensical things in life. Finally, you put down your foot on it all and says to yourself, regardless of the consequences, I just don't need this anymore. On contrary to people who would think that they would cherish people and their sentiments more when growing older. I don't really think that works for me at this time. In fact, I have recently come to a conclusive end to a few good individuals in my life.

Not that I hate this people. But after a very very long period of time over years. It just seems that there are problems and hurdles which cannot be crossed. They keep coming back. And it makes one wonder whether anything objective or beneficial may result from this mad pursuit of harmony and peace in a human to human relationship. Do we need this at all, really? I am not too sure about that anymore. If it doesn't work for me, and it is not worth the trouble, and can be easily replaced with something of weightier significance and importance. Why not? Let's call it quits then. Perhaps the question is not really whether we need certain people in our lives, but rather do we need each other at this present moment? If a relalationship does not transact to a mutually profitable and edifying exchange of feelings and emotions, I dare say, we don't need it at all.

The other side of the coin would be this : would we be going from person to person, friend to friend, trying to find that few that can be included in our inner circle of friends. We would then seek a pleasing and harmonious relationship with that few elite while dumping everybody else that comes along first with their first signs of offence? Again I must insist, that my theory might work and is excusable. It took me many years to finally come to these conclusion about some people. Is that a good reason to justify life without them?

Semplice Simon

Statistics and Probability

Mathematics happened to be one of my favorite subjects in Sec. School. I easily scored top marks in my school for mathematics and the crazy old bag of a maths teacher seemed to like me alot. He invited me and MZ quite often to his house for a time of "discussion" on his mathematics solving skills and stock market strategies. (ie. I could never understand the latter) There was one particular part of maths which I never really could grasp well. Yeap.. StateyProbs.. My maths teacher never ceased to amaze me on how important, Stats and Probs can be. The light hearted examples being in playing Cards, poker, casinos and mahjhong! Stats and Probs plays a very important part in these games. Game Theory they called it? I was never too fascinated with it. Stats and Probs to me, had always been a very abstract branch of maths.

They basically calculate how "it could have been" s.. and what "it could become" s.. Don't make sense? Yeah.. it's doens't make sense to me either. I'm not trying to downplay this department but maths to me, should be something very precise and used for evidential purposes. In other words, to solve, prove and reason. Stats and Probs draws more grey areas than the black thick lines.

My colleague recently shared about the possiblity of striking gold if we have a thousand dollar to spare, keeps buying the same set of numbers for 4Ds.. It seems incredible and yet logical to me that it will work in the long run. After a chat with Marcus, I was put in a clearer perspective that, of all the scenarios availing from a 1000 dollar bill. Each number is of equal possibility. The only real difference, the how much one can spare to buy 4D, and how greedy, obsessed, determined, desperate etc .. a person can be. No matter how one tries to use Stats and Probs to plot out a winning streak for 4D and ToTo, the underlying reason can always be a simple human illogical obesession in striking gold.

Well, that's that. The last time I tried to use Stats and Probs, I was playing BlackJack in a friend's house during Chinese new. I manage to win back what I lost. Now that's, putting maths into pracitcal use.

Semplice Simon

Not A Very Good Friday

Friday was really a non event for me. Year after year Good Friday had been the same for me. Guess the only real difference this year, was that I was partaking service in another church. I left my church last year, and had since joined Cal BP for the past 1.5 years. I sang in the choir today. Two different songs. In my opinion, it was quite average. Wasn't that fantastic. Our second song "O Love that will not let me go!" was not that easy to do. The choir did not spend too much time working out the details also. I guess it's partly my conductress' father who's critically ill with lung cancer. I see her quite distracted nowadays during practice.

That's not the highlight of the day though. I met up with Marcus after service at Tiong Bahru Market for supper. On the way, we notice an accident on the road . Not having a clear view of the situation, I asked Marcus whether he should be helping.. Before I can clearly analyse any "extra-ordinarily troubling" implications, he jumped out from my car and dashed over the the scene of the accident... "OOOOooo my hero!!" LOL. I parked my car quickly (and illegally) and quickened my steps towards the junction. Woh.. the man, in his late forties, was lying on his side in a pool of blood fresh emerging from his mouth and nose..He had visible scratches, cuts and bruises all over. Laying on his side in an odd angle, he must have broken a few things. There was a mangled bicycle some distance off. Judging from the situation, the taxi crashed into the front of it and sent the man flying.

I was a bit shaken at the sight. I've never seen so much blood before. Especially in an accident. But surprisingly, a few things really hit me. Quite a number of people came forward to help. There were people redirecting traffic, calling the police and ambulance, putting up the sign boards to block the victim from oncoming vehicles, someone brought a roll of toilet papers to clean up the man etc etc.. Marcus decided it was best not to move the body as it might aggravate the injuries.

We waited a good ten minutes before the ambulance arrived. Marcus gave his SOP medical report to the CDF Medics, and off they went. We proceeded on with our supper for the night. Nothing much we could have done for the poor man besides praying hard that he had escaped the death that night.

What really struck me was the amount of fear and panic in the taxi driver's voice when he called his friend. He broke into tears. I am sure nobody had wished for this horrible accident, but I cannot help imagining myself or my friends in any of the three situations ie. The person who caused the accident, the victim of the accident, or the relatives and friends for both two cases. It had been a traumatising night. But it was really quite an experience.

Semplice Simon

Displacing my BLOG (Happy 7th Month Blog Anniversary)

I wish to announce this glad tidings of joy!! HO HOOOO HOOOO!!! With effect from today, I would be changing BLOG address! Meaning to say, I would cease to post in this address and will thus propel my blog once more into an unknown address. Into the obscure cyberworld where anybody can read it...

So if you are interested in knowing what's happening in my life lately .. CALL ME!! Goddamnit!!!! :P

Anyway, that's that.

Semplice Simon ( Fine for cookiben, and happy anniversary bloggggieee!!! )

Short Little Moosings - 13

Quarterly Review of New Year Resolutions 2006!

Going to do a short review of my new year resolutions. As nearly a quarter of the year had passed, it is time to take a quick look on resolutions.

1. Participate in the 21 Km Half Marathon end of the year
Just completed my 16km mark last friday. This is just an approximation according to measuring on the map.

2. Get my GMAT Done
I've decided to push this back a bit. Will try the book's questions.

3. Get my ABRSM Grade 5 Done
I've decided to push this back too. Serves no immediate advantage to my career.

4. Save up for A Trip end of Year 2006
I would still like to do this.

5. Drive Safely
I'm trying!!!! :P

6. Learn to drive with all my different shoes
Yeay!!! I've suceeded. But I think Babet Junior is a bit grouchy.. I've been using her for practice with all my different shoes.

** New Resolutions **

7. Complete my Microsoft Certified Application Developer (MCAD)
Needs two more papers. Doing 70-229 now.

8. Complete Oracle Certification in DB Admin, Forms Development and PL SQL Programming
Started on OCA (DBA) study.

There are a couple of things on my mind. Need time to think over. It's one of those milestones in life. It is like we seem to have so many choices and yet, full of dilemmas. Our hearts yearn for that one thing, and for that one thing our minds is perplexed with its paradox. This state of unrest is good in some ways..

Do I need a sign? A clear signal and indication on what I want OR need to do? Why am I seeking those external signs then? Can't I just work on my feelings? Things which might had seemed so apparent and logical to me, now is botched with my clumsy and indecisive spirit.

Ultimately, it's the internal being, which enables us to be happy. But is this really true? Is it the things that we do for ourselves, which inevitably will be the only thing that can make us happy? I feel like that wilful abandonment sometimes and yet, I laugh at the thought of myself performing it in a deluded and constricted circumstance. I might just play that Samwise-Gamgee. Now, Samwise, I have always felt, was the true hero of the trilogy.

We need that fullness of life. I've always struggled with this balance of tumultuous challenge of ambitions, and the desperation for simplistic and stable living. This short rattling of a series of totally incoherent thoughts, may far well explain how totally dotty I am.

Semplice Simon

Mood - Fabulous!!! : )
Feeling - Happy.. sad.. excited.. anxious... worried.. nervous.. glad...!!
Thinking - How can a big fat woman from China do a split? Incredible!!
Love - My sweet pea...Hey cookie.. will always be around to offer my "help-without-asking" to you. :)

Déjà vu

It's been more than 1 complete month since I've last updated my blog. Been real busy studying and planning for more certification courses and exams. Will plough through those details soon. Today's a day of déjà vu. The experience of knowing that this new situation had occurred to me before.

Long story short, Marcus application to Harvard got through!!! Woh... now that's something worth noting. Nothing concrete yet as funding is still in question. It’s the prospects of studying overseas, the prestige of a renowned institution and the excitement of a whole new world of discovery. But wait, I had been through this before. It's like “The Matrix” ‘s kitty cat scene, Déjà vu. Spare you my corniness, but it's not the first time when my boyfriend had to spend months away from me for further studies. Hmm.. Let me see, what's the similarities.?.. A 9 months course.. Crazy rush to get funding.. Planning to settle outstanding issues here, planning to shift your life temporarily to another country, settling administration here and there... Gosh.. It's All Coming Back to me now.( .. Celine Dion!! .. ).. I've done all this before!! While the course of events may seems similar, the way we make it have to be different. Different and perhaps, better also.

That is precisely the advantage I have now. I know what to do and what to plan for. I need to plan for visits, pack food for him, open up all available channels of communication with him (ie the cheapest please!!!). Plan religiously to keep each other updated. I have to plan how to occupy my time, get postcards, mail him stuff etc etc…. There are just endless things to do, to safeguard a relationship over a short period of separation.

Now, Please don't presume I’m saying all things in negativity and bitterness. In fact, I am better prepared this time. I think I can handle this separation better than the last. I do feel sad, excited, worried, happy, and anxious and everything rolled into one complete ball of messy wool. But then, Déjà vu!! I'd felt this before! And it’s not new, and I can handle it better. It’s probably more worrying whether Marcus can handle it. Stepping aside and peering over my shoulder, I feel resigned to the fact that this kind of thing happens in most relationships. We just have to work it out don't we? The dynamics of a relationship can really excites me. Ironically the changes that come along can sadden me too.

Well well, today's Mingzhu's Birthday. Happy Birthday MZ!! Thanks for being my good friend for so many years. Since 1990? Gosh.. that would be more than 1 and a half decade!

Semplice Simon

Short Little Moosings - 12

It's been a long long week. Many things to do work and tons of projects and meeting to rush through. I can't seem to meet the dateline for a couple of projects which pressure has been added on naturally by the bosses.

Looking at the many things shining on my bright side, I've still got a job, good health and sound mind. Thank God for the 100th day that we've been together. It's miraculous to have found somebody who's more meticulous than me in remembering time and dates. Happy 100th and more coming long Marcus!!

A couple of thing's I've been up to lately:
Still reeling from my BKK trip and the sweet memories.
Working on V Day part 2 present.
Just completed my Harry Potter Half Blood Prince - A.D. died!!! Can you believe that!! It's tragic!!!
Finished "Talk to the Hand" by Lynne Truss, and started on "Narcissus And Goldmund" by Hermann Hesse
Working on Marathon. Longest run outside - 1h 40 min , on treadmill 1h - 8.5km on 3 degree incline
Setting up my database for job application
Planning the CD cataloguing program for Marcus.
Need to plan my by GMAT and ABRSM soon.
Just watched "I Not Stupid Too" today
Attended "Bach's Back" concert by Martin Setchell (Not terribly impressed!!)


Semplice Simon

Mood - Excited Excited!! Many things to do..! :)
Feeling - Exhausted, I think my body clock isn't adjusting back.
Thinking - When's our 365th day?
Love - "Thank God I've Found You" Mariah Carey

Falling Leaves

Without change, as a routine appointment to keep, the leaves of the tree will fall without fail. Over season and times of change, the leaves will continue to cast its faded shade of death over the streets. The repellent sight which lies ahead, how tiresome can it get? The dead litter and heap of stillness, what joys can one find? As a man who strolls down these paths, kicking up the dull foliage, it can almost bring despair just by the sniff of pungent dryness. And yet there is a certain story to tell.

I read somewhere when I was young, that for every falling leave you catch in the air, you’ll get a day of good luck. So there it goes, a little boy ran around one day while autumn braced. Using a black bag he sped down the streets willing the gust to blow. Catching with not much of a finger lifted, a bag full of leaves fallen from the trees caught in air. Gathering it all up he came to the old man and sounded brightly, “I’ve much luck in my life now cos’ I’ve gathered as such.”

The old man smiled quietly and reaching into the bag he asked, “How many leaves are there in here?”

The boy answered, “I’m not sure, but as much as I need it.”

The old man prompted again, “To whom do you what to give the leaves to?”

Little boy answered a little rudely, “Have you not heard me old man, it’s for myself and for no one else!”

Gently he asked again, “Little boy little boy, do you not know the luck will not come if you gather them by greed and selfishness? We are meant to catch it one by one in the air with our hands outstretched. The luck is for others, and does not work on us.”

Curiously the boy looked on, as the old man turned the bag over to empty it. He didn’t stop the old man. Leaving the bag aside, he sprinted off like the wind that came, hands outstretched to catch some leaves. He came back with just one in each hand.

Semplice Simon

Shots from BKK

From Top to Bottom :

I'm looking back!! When are we coming again?

MBK... awww.. my poor blistering feet

It's Gigantic Sleeping Buddha..

Funny Temple

Shy old lady with all her merchandise

The strange Diver holding his.. erghm..

A bed, two maps, the Itinerary and a Calculator

Bangkok with Marcus

Thailand and Bangkok wasn't the top on my list if you ask me about short getaways. Food poisoning, loss of 5 kg and having to go to the Loo over ten times a day was good enough reason for anybody to give it a pass. We had some choices but Bangkok was the most economical. Good food, great shopping and spending power like the Royals were some other reasons. I took preventive measures this time, 2000 mg of Vit C 2 weeks before my trip, no road side food stalls and only restaurants.

I wanted to spend time away from the din in Singapore, and experience each other's company in a non-stress-take-it-easy trip. The bottom-line, we wanted to see how it was for us to live together. I think we managed to find out more about each other. Ie. Personality, character and habits etc.

Ironically, I didn't fall sick and slept like a pig. All thanks to 3 anti-allergy drugs. The bed had some metallic spring problem; it can get uncomfortable with them jabbing up at you. For the price that we paid, 60SGD per night, it was quite a good bargain. Narai Hotel was not much of a show outside, but the interior cannot be slighted. The Food was fantastic. Not one day passed without Tom Yum Soup and BlueBerry. We went for some fine Thai dining at Naj restaurant, it was the pinnacle for the trip. I can still remember the taste of the lamb and soup. The pomelo salad... YUMS!!! Shopping was tiring. My feet were blistering from the walk. Sorry guys, I just don't walk that much in Singapore.

I've enjoyed myself thoroughly. Came back to Singapore on Saturday night and a bit of glum followed thinking of work in the office. I'm sure we both dreaded certain things at work. But our little short holiday left a sweet aftertaste worth savoring whenever the unpleasant things happen in life. Thanks for the time spent together Marcus!! You're the best thing that happen to me yet. Let's go for a real honeymoon next time. : ) I love you.

Hope things will pick up better for us at work soon.

Day 1 (31 Jan 2006)
Met at Airport 645pm
Had dinner at the Mid Eastern Cuisine thing
Fly Fly Away!! (945pm Sin Time)
Touch down BKK Airport (1045pm Thai Time)
Check in Narai Hotel
Unpack and sleep

Day 2 (01 Feb 2006)
Morning Breakfast (Everyday was American Breakfast at Hotel)
Patpong 1 and 2 Quick Walk Through
Sala Daeng Quick Shopping and Tea
The Emporium Shopping
Lunch at Food Court
Back to Siam Paragon Shopping
Visted Oceanarium
Dinner at Thai Restr. at Paragon

Day 3 (02 Feb 2006)
River Cruise at Chao Phraya
Take Express Boat from Sathorn to Tha Thien
Walk to Wat Phra (Sleeping Buddha)
Nearly got conned by Bad Tuk Tuk Man !!
Walk over to Grand Palace and Emerald Buddha
Went back to Siam Center
Lunch at Jap Ramen with funny smelling soup
Coffee and Cake at pastry shop
Massage at Arena
Went back to hotel to change
Went Convent Naj Restr. for FINE THAI DINING!
GoGo Boy Show back at XBoys Thailand (Off from Silom to Tharniya)

Day 4 (03 Feb 2006)
Found this cool Computer Shop along Pantip
Shopping IT Mall at Pantip
Lunch at this Fusion Food Court
Siam Square Shopping
MBK Shopping
Found DVD/VCD Shop selling tons of Gay Movies
Dinner at Shanghainese Restr.
Went back to hotel to change
GoGo Boy Show at Jupiter 2002 Cafe at Suriwong Hotel

Day 5 (04 Feb 2006)
Chatuchat Market Shopping
From Clothes - Jeans - Home Items - Animals etc...
Back to Hotel to Pack
Lunch standing in Airport Check-in Queue (BK Burger) Argh..
Back to Singapore!!! Touch down 7pm
Go home
Eat Chai Chee Porridge with Marcus

Semplice Simon

From the song taken off the movie "As It Is in Heaven" a film by Kay Pollak
This is something to encourage all of us, to feel that we have lived our lives.
With no regrets and to stay strong even when the tempest tosses us,
Even when choices run out, we can still choose how we want to feel.
We will always retain our dignity and integrity;
It’s something which nobody can destroy.

It is now that my life is mine
I've got this short time on earth
And my longing has brought me here
All I lacked and all I gained

And yet it's the way that I chose
My trust was far beyond words
That has shown me a little bit
Of the heaven I've never found

I want to feel I'm alive
All my living days
I will live as I desire
I want to feel I'm alive
Knowing I was good enough

I have never lost who I was
I have only left it sleeping
Maybe I never had a choice
Just the will to stay alive

All I want is to be happy
Being who I am
To be strong and to be free
To see day arise from night

I am here and my life is only mine
And the heaven
I thought was there
I'll discover it there somewhere

I want to feel that I've lived my life..